last night i had a dream that lesbians were a massive source of energy and the government started paying me to make out with girls to generate power and that’s how gay marriage was legalized in north carolina
look at this sweet gender bent iron man design
#YES FUCKING YES #EXFUCKINGACTLY #TONY DIDN’T PUT A BUTTCRACK AND DETAILED COCKHEAD ON HIS SUIT #IRON MAIDEN WOULDN’T HAVE IMPRACTICAL FUCKING BOOBS OR A MOTHERFUCKING TUMMY GAP #TAKE YOUR OVERSEXUALISATION AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR TIGHT ANUS WRAPPED IN SANDPAPER #THIS IS FUCKING RIGHT #goddamn I get angry about this kind of shit
so since I’m drive coach for my team this year I decided to make a playbook (yeah it’s kinda dumb but I think it’ll be helpful)
but I’m naming all the plays after fictional spaceships so I remember them
so wednesday night I got in a car accident
I’m fine and the other driver is fine but my car is totaled
and the Apex Police did a little report on it and it says “On March 5th the Apex Police Department responded to a vehicle crash involving a teenage driver.”
Why did they have to state I was a teenage driver? I feel like that has a bad connotation. I wasn’t texting, the radio wasn’t even on, and I was buckled in.
The accident was my fault but it was because I blacked out and I didn’t even know what happened
That could have happened to anyone, not just a “teenage driver.”
tragic love story idea: in a world where we have just engineered the technology to create a robot capable of feelings, a robot with feelings falls for another older-model robot that’s incapable of love
lesbian pickup line: would you like to boldly go where no man has gone before?
THIS IS STILL MY FAVORITE ONE
this sums up my feelings about karl perfectly
when i was 12 i made a deal with my dad that if i didn’t date until i was 16 he’d owe me $100 AND I FUCKING REMEMBERED THE OTHER DAY AND MY DAD SAID IT WAS "RIDICULOUS ENOUGH TO BE TRUE" HE’S ACTUALLY GONNA GIVE ME $100
so my dad come home today and was like “katie i did it i got your money”
he gave me 100 one dollar bills
my dad gave me 100 one dollar bills
i can pretend to be a super star
i am a queen
i made it rain on my mom
gracious professionalism isn’t at it’s finest until you combine these three ingredients.
so I finally covered my robotics bathrobe in buttons
I just said to myself “Oh no I have no more room for buttons for next year”
but I have no next year
“No one ever told me I was special. I never got a trophy just for showing up.”
Check out the Hitchhikers (Team 2059) on the Palmetto regional live stream!